The Dauntless Lunatic, Naruto Uzumaki
by KidOtaku
Summary: What to do when dropped in a world with lesser beings? Dick around, of course! God-like Naruto dropped into the world of Divergent. Cracky, foul-mouthed, stupid, useless tangents fic. Pairing undecided.


**_{Read Me}_**

Hello everyone, I'm alive. Yes, me. No, I'm sorry, I doubt I will be continuing Broken Village Broken Heart. It was slowly turning into a cesspool of cliches, and I hated it. BVBH is up for adoption, by the way, if anyone would like to continue off from where I was, or (preferably) start from the beginning.

A couple things!

Kyuubi is a he, in this fic. Not it. I know that's not cannon. Don't give a shit.

I don't want reviews that are: 'THIS CHARACTER IS STRONGER THAN THIS CHARACTER BECAUSE OF MY OWN OPINION! ALSO, THE WRITING IS SHIT!111!' Please include something that would help the story become better without being a total ass. Even if my writing IS shit.

Things will be explained (probably) about Naruto's past soon. Don't flip shit.

If you have an opinion, or you don't like something and want to make a review or send a PM, make it understandable, and in English. Not asking for much, and your grammar doesn't have to be perfect. Just good enough for it to be comprehensible.

Cool? Cool.

I've always liked Divergent, and I love Naruto. When I bothered to go check the crossovers, I was stunned to find that there was no 'God-like' version of Naruto here. I was even more stunned that there were only four fics! Four! Anyway, I'm hoping this story will get a little bit of traction, because I'm loving writing it, even more so than when I started BVBH. Now, the story is going to be crackfic-ish, and have pieces from 'Reaching For a Dream' (I love that fic by the way, funniest shit I've seen on the website) and its sequels. There will be mentions of other anime. There will be jabs thrown at cliches and at characters. Naruto will be a badass. Life will go on.

However, I am curious who I want to pair Naruto with, so I may make a poll about that. Or maybe not. I'm lazy. In all honesty, I can't see him getting paired with Tris. Christina, I had though about, but… Ehhhh. Tell me what you think!

Well, enjoy!

P.S. As always, feel free to PM me about any careless errors. Thanks!

In the plain gray roads of Abnegation, a boy, or rather, a young man, was laying on the gravel. He seemed to be about seventeen, but still had this bit of a childish air around him. Almost as if, he might've gone around running with a stupid catchphrase that he had never managed to get rid of, or something.

Wearing a dark blue tee and fishnet undershirt along with some black cargo pants, he wasn't exactly bad-looking. Add the slight stubble around his chin and a firm jawline, and he was sporting a roguishly handsome look. Sitting up and adjusting the hitai-ate around his neck, blonde hair shooting in all directions, he scanned his surroundings.

"Well. I wonder where I am now," he pondered aloud.

 **'Why do you even bother asking that question? We've done this hundreds of times, but you're just so damn curious that you have to ask the same question,'** a voice growled, with an ancient and low timbre.

"You do realize you've answered the same question with the same answer, always? Hypocrite much?"

 **'Pfft. Nonsense. Now be quiet, for you interrupted my nap.'**

Silence.

"It's pretty plain around here, don't you think? All gray and shit."

' **Do you ever shut up?'**

"I wonder if this place has chakra? The last couple'a places we'd been didn't, but that doesn't mean we can't hope!"

 **'You. You can hope. I hope for silence.'**

"Awww, is the great and powerful enhanced 9-tails upset? Did getting the Juubi cranked into you crump your style for the past few years?"

 **'Crump isn't a word.'**

"Oh, shut up, kitty cat."

 **'If you haven't noticed, you worthless trash, you've been talking to yourself while sitting in the middle of the road. The fact that you're probably wearing weird clothing for this dimension doesn't help either.'**

With a grunt, the young man sat himself up. Glancing at the drab houses that lined the roads, he walked off in a random direction.

Enjoying his walk and enjoying the scenery, it was fair to say that he liked this new world.

"The energy here seems vibrant, for a world as old as this one. Don't you think?" he asked, continuing his stroll.

 **'Some parts seem more physically active than the last couple worlds if that's what you mean.'**

Without pause, Naruto wiggled his eyebrows.

"'Physically active,' huh? That's about one word away from se—"

 **'Sennin above and Orochimaru below, I wish Kakashi wasn't your sensei.'**

Stopping by a concrete fountain, the enigmatic boy closed his eyes and concentrated.

"Hmmm… Do you think I could use a genjutsu to create an identity for me like last time?"

 **'Over the entire world? Again? Not likely, with your chakra control.'**

Wincing, he opened his eyes. Chakra control never was his strong suit.

"What if it was just this section of the world? I doubt I'd be going out of the country, this place is too interesting."

 **'Hmmmm… There seems to be a large wall surrounding this place; perhaps that is a good choice.'**

"Cool. Now, I think I should learn a little more about this place before I go and make an identity. Remember that one time? They thought I was a 'Saiyan' or something with my hair!"

 **'Yes, I remember. They were all rather strong, or at least, stronger than we'd seen in a while.'**

"Oh! Remember that little short bald kid who kept dying? Hahaha, oh my god! He was almost as useless as Sakura used to be!"

 **'Hmmph.'** Try as the bijuu might, he was beginning to crack a smile. The bald kid _was_ useless. Why the baldie kept being resurrected, he would never know.

Once again on the gravel, the number one most unpredictable ninja had begun rolling on the floor, holding his sides.

"Ah, ahhh. That was good."

An elderly factionless man had heard the noise of laughter and stumbled over.

"And what might you be laughing about, lad?" The man said, intrigued by what seemed to be an Erudite boy laughing on Abnegation streets.

"Eh? Oh, hello there. You see, I'm not from this dimension, and I was laughing about a little small bald boy who kept dying and then being resurrected by supernatural beings, which happen to be dragons most of the time."

The old man's mouth opened, then closed. It opened again, stayed like that for a little while, then it thought better of itself, and closed.

"Well then, I'm going to need to be on my way. Bye now!"

The old man gave a half-hearted wave to the boy who jovially walked away.

"What the hell did those Abnegation kids feed me this week," the old man muttered, walking back into the shade.

 **'You're having way too much fun with this.'**

"Yes, your point?"

 **'… Forget it.'**

"Have you gathered some information yet? I'm getting a little bored here. Everything is so gray."

 **'You said that already. Yes, I have gathered some information about this planet. It seems that we are surrounded by a wall, preventing the humans from going outside. We are now in a city known as Chicago, Illinois. The humans inside are colonized at the at a fairly young age, into four different factions. They are Abnegation, Amity, Erudite, and Dauntless.'**

"Huh. Sounds boring," Naruto yawned, jumping to the top of a roof.

Only to come crashing down in the middle of a family dinner.

 **'You… did not.'**

"Eheheh…" Naruto said, taking in the stunned looks of the family around them. "You guys have some really weak roofs."

'Shit, I just spoke in Japanese, didn't I,' he thought, cursing.

The father's face quickly turned stony.

"What is your business here, and why did you come crashing through my roof," the man demanded, rising from his seat.

Naruto blinked at the question-turned-statement. Taking in the family around them, Naruto came to a quick realization. This was an Abnegation family, most likely, if they were anything like the definition. Gray clothing, hair up in buns for the females, short hair for the guys.

Mind going a mile a minute, Naruto switched to English and moved off the table, bowing.

"I am very sorry. Please, let me help you with this mess," he apologized, grabbing broken dishes and quickly moving to the kitchen.

The Priors were stunned by the delinquent who had come crashing through their roof, speaking some gibberish before apologizing and helping clean up. Natalie was the first to move, going to her husband and whispering in his ear.

"He seems nice enough and is helping clean up. Let's fix this mess; we can question him after," she whispered, touching his arm gently.

Andrew's stony face softened and went to help the boy with the mess, albeit keeping a careful eye on him.

 **~Later~**

 **'I can't believe you did that. Actually, I totally can. Strongest being on the planet, and you crash through a roof in your first hour on the planet. Pitiful.'**

'H-hey. Shut up,' Naruto thought back, unable to speak aloud to the bijuu.

"So," began Andrew Prior. "We have a lot to talk about."

"Yes, sir," Naruto said respectfully.

Inwardly, Naruto's mind was running wild again. The reason for clothing? Check. Backstory? Check. Why I came through their roof…? Fuck.

"Who are you? What faction are you from?" Andrew asked.

"Andrew! Please don't be so demanding," the woman pleaded, glancing from Naruto to her husband.

"Why not? I understand the rules of Abnegation, but this— this ruffian came through our roof!" Andrew hissed, his voice getting louder.

"My name is Naruto, sir. I do not know what you mean by faction," Naruto interrupted, sensing the worry of the two older children watching from the door.

The adults blinked at the heavy accent from the boy's words.

"The factions. Erudite, Abnegation, Amity, Dauntless?" Natalie asked, worry increasing.

Although Naruto had just been told about them, he blinked in confusion.

 **'You better be going somewhere with this…'**

"All I did was climb this very large wall and run," Naruto said, weaving a little chakra into his voice. This would serve just to make the people a little more comfortable around him and more likely to believe what he was saying.

"Th-the wall? You climbed it?" Andrew spluttered, staring at Naruto in shock.

"Yes, sir. I was trying to jump over the roof when I came through here," Naruto rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"Jump over the roof?" Natalie asked. This just kept getting weirder.

"Yes, ma'am. I apologize again." Naruto stood and bowed before sitting back down.

"If you don't mind, could you let me stay here for a little while? I promise to be on my best behavior, and I will do work for you if you would like."

"What? Most definitely not!" Andrew stood, getting in the boy's face. "You are not staying in my home, you criminal! If you came from outside of the wall, you must've been there for a reason, huh!"

"Andrew!" Natalie in turn stood, pulling her husband away by his shirt. Turning back to Naruto, she pointed down the hall.

"There is a guest room over there, you are most welcome to stay the night."

Naruto smiled brightly and bowed even lower. "Thank you very much, ma'am, your beauty is only exceeded by your kindness."

Andrew growled.

Natalie smiled back, before giving her husband a death glare.

Naruto landed on his bed, hearing the scurries of the eavesdroppers running back to their room.

However, he felt that the conversation between the two adults wasn't over. Focusing chakra to his ears, he listened in to what they were saying.

"—is a criminal! How could you let him stay under the same roof as us— the one that he broke!"

"Listen to me, Andrew. Did you look into that boy's eyes? I saw it, you know. For half a second he was lonely. I swear!"

Naruto shot up from his spot on the bed, staring at where Natalie had spoken through the wall. These people were very perceptive, and he was going to be more careful with what he showed.

"I don't care if he was lonely or not. Natalie, I love you. But we can't keep a criminal in our house, Abnegation or not. Speaking of which, how is he going to blend in with society? He knows nothing of our culture!"

"How can you be so sure that he IS a criminal? He had no idea where he was, and came from outside the wall, yes? He is abnormal, that's for sure, but a criminal? He's a child, maybe a little older than Beatrice—"

Naruto snorted at that. If only.

 **'Doesn't change the fact that you have the mind of a six-year-old,'** Kurama shot, chuckling to himself.

'You know, I CAN put Lee and Gai in the mindscape if you would like. With all these snarky comments, surely you have enough energy to train?' Naruto shot back, knowing his fear of the exuberant bowl headed taijutsu users.

 **'Oh? I suppose I could also project over this entire universe about that one time with that girl on your trip with Jir—'**

'OK! Ok, point taken. God, take a joke!'

 **'Someone's a sore loser.'**

Ignoring the witty fox, he listened back into the conversation.

"— and he is effectively factionless! Since he is not yet officially an adult, we can adopt him. I'll bring in the papers to Adrian tomorrow. This is final, Andrew. I am not sending a kid like him back on the streets. We can teach him about the factions, and he can choose to be sorted without the test next week."

"…Fine. He hurts any of you, though, and he's out. I don't want to see any of you hurt because of someone you show mercy for."

"I understand, Andrew. All I ask for is that you give him a chance. He can be a good kid. I'm not sure why, but I know it!"

Naruto winced. He hated weaving chakra into his voice specifically because of this reason. The father's love and overprotectiveness for his family must have been incredibly strong, for him to resist it.

Breakfast was an incredibly awkward affair.

It started with Natalie walking into the kitchen, set on preparing the breakfast for the family.

"Beatrice! Please come to the kitchen and help me make breakfast," she called, before nearly walking straight into Naruto's torso.

Looking up, she realized he was standing right there. The entire time.

"Ano… Good morning…?" Naruto chuckled awkwardly. "You were going to walk into me, so I stopped you. I have also taken the liberty of making food for the family as an extra measure. Is that alright?"

Natalie was completely stunned. Since when did he get up? The floors in their old house were incredibly creaky, and she always knew when Caleb or Beatrice would get up before her. So what changed?

"Ma'am? Are you alright?" Naruto began to get more and more concerned. The woman was completely rooted to the spot, her eyes wide and unfocused.

 **'You killed her.'**

'NO! No, I didn't.'

 **'You sure?'**

'Yes?'

Suddenly, Natalie snapped out of her reverie.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. Thank you so much for this wonderful breakfast," Natalie said softly, her mind clearly somewhere else.

"I've set everything up on the table. Perhaps when everyone comes for… what is the word? Breakfast? Yes, breakfast. When everyone is here for breakfast I may learn more about the factions and other things?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Of course. Feel free to take a seat on the couch until the kids and Andrew sit down," Natalie replied.

'What do I do now? I usually make breakfast, but now I have nothing to do,' Natalie thought, glancing unknowingly at the hundred-year boy sitting on her couch.

'Things certainly will be interesting now…'

Alright, here is the first, albeit very short, chapter. Like last time, the first one is about three thousand, and the next one will be eight thousand or so. After that, the chapters will be 5 thousand repeating, or longer.

So:

Naruto won't have a chance to take the test.

He is going straight into the sorting.

He is most definitely going to be sorted into Dauntless.

Tris is probably going to be sorted into Dauntless too… Maybe?

Everything else is going to go somewhat cannon.

Any mistakes? PM me! Remember, this is a test chapter, so feel free to leave some suggestions for the future.


End file.
